Motherhood is such a strange thing at times. Parenting in general really.
In one second, you're absolutely in love with the little humans you've created. Then in the next second, you're wondering what you could have done so wrong to cause them to tell their teacher that they hope that someday, she can be their new stepmom.
(True story. Josh and I have been married for 9 years now, only ever to each other, and Raegan told her teacher last year that she was the most beautiful lady she's ever seen, and hopes that she could be her stepmom some day. Thankfully we all had a good laugh at her parent teacher conference the following week.)
But really though, funny stuff aside, raising little people is hard. I'm sure there are some perfect mothers out there that might beg to differ, but in my experience, it's tough. I'm constantly questioning if what I am doing is the "right" thing. I am tired. There are moments of painful defeat and exhausted surrender. But the saying goes, often times the hardest seasons are the ones that produce the most fruit.
Every now and then though, you get an epic win. Moments that are catalysts into the next day. Moments of goodness that you are able to hold onto on particularly rough days.
Today my kids gave me one of those moments.
Every morning when my kids get out of the car for school, I ask them who they are.
Raegan responds, "I am Raegan Davis. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a daughter of the King and NOBODY can take that away from me.
Harvey responds, "I am Harvey Davis. I am brave and kind. I am a defender of people."
This morning right before they got out of the car, Raegan asks, "What about you mommy?"
I was confused.
"Mommy, who are YOU?"
Taken a bit aback and in a time crunch, my brain froze.
So Raegan says, "You are Samantha Davis. You persevere through everything. You are strong and brave. You can do ANYTHING."
I was speechless.
So Harvey says, "Mommy! You HAVE to say it!" Raegan agrees, "Yeah mommy! Come on! Who are you?"
So I say, "I am Samantha Davis. I persevere through everything. I am strong and brave. I can do anything."
I catch a glimpse of Raegan in the rearview mirror, she's beaming.
Then Harvey says, "Yeah. That's my girl!" And we all laugh.
Some days motherhood is hard. A continuous self sacrifice that forces you to go against your basic human needs in order to benefit your little ones. There are days where you feel like you’ve failed completely. Days you wish you could redo, moments you wish you could take back. There are days of tears, pain, and “You’re the worst mommy ever!”
But then there are days that redeem. Days that heal. Days and moments you wish you could relive over and over. Moments that remind you that you maybe aren’t doing such a bad job after all. Days where you look into your little humans’ eyes and believe that you deserve the title of “my favoritest mommy ever.”
If you’re having a hard mom day, it’s okay. Give yourself some extra grace today. I think often times when we are trying so hard to raise good humans, we often forget that we are only human ourselves. Your kids don’t need your perfection, they just need you. YOU. YOU are their momma for a reason, because YOU were meant for them, and they for you.
Praying today that amongst the diapers, crying, sibling fights, homework frustrations, spilt juice, spit up in your hair, watching the same episode of Daniel Tiger for the 20th time, wondering if today will be the day you get to shower without an audience, toddler tantrums and preteen eye rolls, that today you’d get a moment that reminds you that you’re doing a good job. Something to hold onto on those really really hard days.
And if that doesn’t happen today, I hope that these words find you and encourage you. That they bring you hope into tomorrow. You’ve got this momma, just keep showing up and doing your best.
